Self-Evaluation: Episode 1

Ok... i know that im supposed to be in bed!
Hafta attend Sunday service later at 9am.

Yes. i've stopped Niamah!!!-ing already. Not quite ngam with my style lerr. But N... oops... i can't sleep lah, own self find fault for having 'wet-dreams' earlier yesterday... apa la wei. My nose running sure wet laa... bocor maa (nothing in common with the MP Batu Gajah story k).

Since im still wide awake, and nobody to tok to. Tok wif self aso can lah... self-evaluation lorr.

What is my top-ten vulgar word usage:

10) Jackass!
only when my dad makes a fool outta himself...

9) Asshole
currently in use to represent a doorstep salesman. I'll go like, "What was that asshole promoting?". Last used in Ipoh, TMnet agent promoting rm77 broadband.

8) Baarger
bugger. used when i'm pissed off at commoners. i.e. Dad: Why u take so long to buy? Me: That bugger lah! Chop chicken aso like ah-ma (with reference to my grandma's chopping speed...)

7) Shithead/Dickhead
Only my family understands when i use this word. It means someone who's brain rationalism is a factor of possibly -50 lower than the lowest recorded human IQ (not mensa scale - BolehLand scale). Typically used to describe our drivers and politician... (same lah... both aso driving maa... 1 drive car, anudder drive 'developement')

6) KNNBCCB
acronym for kaninabehcaucibai. With local online games canggih swear-filter, any CIM+E (cina india melayu + english) vulgarities sure wun lepas one. KNNBCCB is a widely accepted standard vulgarity in BolehLand and KiasuLand.

5) Lan Jiao!!
when any off my friends makes self-opposing statments.
i.e. Me: "i'm only interested in guys".
haha... most probably in ur heart u'll go "lan jiao!" as well

4) Sohai!!!
when any of my not-religious friends do something stupid lah off course.

3) Puki!!!
only does this when i got owned in DoTA or any other games lah. Pissed off at ownself lah... ok... my stupidity

2) Cipet...
as opposed to Cibai. this is a gentler version. also can be used as a replacement for Cepat! Miraculously i onli utter this in front of Seng, my classmate n my cipet-sifu (taught me this word lah)

1) Nabeh!!!
most uttered during my DoTA days... kinda stuck with me now. At least its easier, less harsh and sound mor cool then Niamah!!!